A Mermaid, A Sailor, and A Baby

Well right now it looks like shit. Because I’m breastfeeding, so I usually either don’t eat at all because I don’t have time.. or I grab something high in calories & horrible for me, because I haven’t eaten all day & I’m starving. Then on the weekends, Patrick & I go out to eat a lot or order take-out, because we’re busy playing catch-up on household chores and errands, so he doesn’t have time to make me stuff. 

I do have overnight oats for breakfast each morning, and it’s pretty healthy. Patrick makes it for me before bed. It’s a mason jar of organic rolled oats, almond milk, organic yogurt, organic raw chia seeds, organic wildflower honey, and organic frozen or fresh fruit of some kind or another. It’s great because it requires no cooking, and it’s got all this protein and probiotics. I kinda want to start making mason jars of salads I can have for lunch. I got this organic kale salad mix, and grape tomatoes & sea salted almonds. 

I was super healthy while pregnant though, and here was what a typical day looked like. Also I don’t know if you’re on my pinterest already, but I’m @tiayra. Lots of healthy stuff on there that we made when we had time.

Funny you ask, because I was just reading it again. Terry is two months old now, and I have been wanting to write a thank you email to the midwife & her assistants who acted as doulas. It’s just so hard to put into words how much they changed my life forever that day. Nothing I could say seems adequate enough. But when I do write that letter, I’ll post it here for my doula & midwife followers.

Anyways, the birth story is here. The photos are here & here. Oh, and my favorite right here.

I did not really have time to eat anything. I woke up, had a mason jar of overnight oats for breakfast.. then walked to Starbucks. I went into active labor in the Starbucks, and I grabbed a slice of pumpkin bread to go. I did not want to chew it at that point. And my son came out soon after I got back home. But I was starving afterwards, and everyone brought me things that I could have through a straw while lying down & breastfeeding. White grape juice, cranberry juice, coconut water, miso soup. I was so glad I had all that stuff ready! And all the high protein snacks I had ready for the birth came in handy as bedside snacks when I was breastfeeding around the clock.

Damn it! You’ve given me things to actually talk about ;).

I wouldn’t say he’s fussy by nature, but I’d say he has very strong likes & dislikes, and no qualms expressing them. I’m learning how to instinctively know what he’s telling me, and as soon as I respond he’s good. He’s very serious & always has serious facial expressions like he’s deep in thought. He hardly ever smiles, even when you can tell he’s happy from other body language. He’s just extremely alert, and always wants to be up looking around & taking in the world.

We used to think he hated Whole Foods because he’d get “fussy” in there, but actually he was telling us to position him higher in his carrier so he could see everything better. I call him my “lemon drop” because of his sweet & sour personality. It’s just like his Daddy’s. And Patrick intimidated the crap out of me when we met, because he always looks serious, even when he’s in a great mood.

My poor baby is teething now, though, so more crying than usual. We got teething tablets, an organic teething ring & local lavender bath salts for him at Whole Foods yesterday. He’s not even old enough for a Baltic amber necklace yet. A warm bath with candles, incense, music & Mommy always makes him feel better though!

Photography is my passion, and I seriously have to have concepts or see shots in my mind before I take them. I can’t just take snapshots of my kid like a normal parent. I also can’t do video, because I have no idea how to edit it & no patience to learn. So stills it is.

We have no idea if we’ll stay or go, that’s the beauty of military life. We don’t have the burden of making such decisions, and I always figure we’ll end up where we’re meant to. I would like to do Waldorf style homeschooling with Terry & some other children when he’s young, I might even get certified. Then I’d like him to do radical unschooling when he’s a teen. I believe in God, if that’s what you mean? I consider myself a liberal feminist Christian, but religious tests I take online consider me Buddhist. None of our family members have met Terry yet. My mom & dad haven’t even spoken to me since I gave birth. But all my in-laws are fucking amazing, and they already love Terry.

I do not think about Terry having Asperger’s. I know for a fact that he doesn’t. I could feel his personality while I was pregnant with him, and I knew he was just like his Daddy. Brennan was never a “normal” baby. He always had sensory issues. He didn’t want to be swaddled, or held much, and he hated baths or me wiping his face off. He was always in his own little world, and never very vocal even as a toddler. I can’t believe how affectionate Terry is, and how much he enjoys me holding him. Or how much he’s “here” with me. I related to Brennan more, but it never seemed possible to be very close to him. Terry lets me in more.

I guess I don’t see the point when I have close to 700 people following me & 10 of them talk to me. It seems like I’m being spied on rather than interacting. Like I’m on reality TV. I don’t like that stuck in a fishbowl feeling, it’s why I quit dancing. I would rather spend time with Terry, or my new Mommy friend next door. Typing out how my day went so strangers can read it doesn’t really do anything for me. I’m still just talking to myself, only this way anyone with Google can read my thoughts.

I like sharing information about pregnancy, birth & parenting. I like reading new info. But I get on here and read people arguing over petty crap, or complaining about their spouse or motherhood, and I just don’t relate. And I swear to God, I lose followers every single time I make a positive post. Then I gain a ton when people start drama with me over my opinions on things, like public breastfeeding. And the people who actually care enough to stay in touch have already added me on twitter & instagram, so they wouldn’t have to miss me. I’m at a point where I’d rather document my life in pictures than in words someone would twist around or skim over.