A Mermaid, A Sailor, and A Baby

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Posts tagged with "Parenting"

Feb 4

The Case Against Tummy Time

I found this link because I was searching for someone else who felt the way I do. I just don’t believe forcing tummy time from day one makes any logical sense. And I can’t find any actual proof that it does.

I am not going to make Terry do tummy time, ever. When he rolls into his tummy & lifts up on his own, I’ll know he was ready to do so.

Things you should never use on your car seat if you value your child's safety and the warranty:

boogieandme:

After-fucking-market products. No. Just no. Don’t do it.

Those cute little shoulder straps? Yeah, those prevent the chest clip from being properly positioned. If they came with your seat, use them by all means, but if you buy them separately and they aren’t made by your manufacturer you should…

Every parent should know these things. Thank God for tumblr, because I wouldn’t have known otherwise.

22 Alternatives to Punishment

stasiapepper:

1. Prevent unwanted behavior by meeting your child’s needs when they are first expressed. With her current needs met, she is free to move on to the next stage of learning.

2. Provide a safe, child-friendly environment. There is little point in having precious items within the reach of a baby or toddler, when they can simply be put away until the child is old enough to handle them carefully.

3. Apply the Golden Rule. Think about how you would like to be treated if you were to find yourself in the same circumstances as your child. Human nature is human nature, regardless of age.

4. Show empathy for your child’s feelings. Even if a child’s behavior seems illogical, his underlying feelings and needs are real to him. A statement like “You seem really unhappy” is a good way to show that you are on your child’s side.

5. Validate your child’s feelings so she knows that you understand and care, and that she will never be rejected for having any particular kinds of feelings. For example, “That scared me too when I was little.”

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3 Things You Should Never Do for Your Kids

attachmentparenting101:

1. Homework - How many times have you watched parents do their children’s homework for them? One minute you’re shaking your head in disgust and the next minute you’re holding a #2 pencil in your hand writing an essay on the French revolution. Face it. It’s easy to get sucked in by your child.

2. Speak for them

Baby Schedules

Is your infant on a schedule? How old were they when this started? Did you nudge them towards it, or was it more like a natural rhythm they found on their own?

Terry started a feeding/sleeping schedule when he was 2 weeks old, all on his own. Then he strayed from it to go through a growth spurt that lasted a little over a week (and he really grew!). Then he got himself back on it at 4 weeks, so he’s very predictable. He never cries when he’s hungry, because I know what times he wants to eat.. so when it’s close to that time, and he starts opening his mouth & looking side to side for boob, I give it to him. He never has to make a sound. If he’s crying, it’s because he has gas & wants someone to burp him again. Or because he’s had an especially explosive poop and wants his diaper changed, but that always comes with awesome sound effects that give it away.

He always eats at 6:30 am, 7:30 am, 9 am, 11:30 am, 2 pm, 4:30 pm, and then again at 6 & 7 pm. I usually stay in bed with him until after his 9 am feeding. Then he falls back asleep, and I get up to have breakfast. He sleeps all day until after his 2 pm feeding. Then he usually stays awake until we go to bed, unless we go somewhere with him in the sling. That instantly knocks him out.

He used to be very fussy all afternoon/evening, which was funny because he was always hyperactive in the womb during that time too. Every time my husband would call me to say he was on his way home from work during my pregnancy, I’d be feeling his crazy gymnastics in my belly. It would last into dinner time, until around when I’d lay down to sleep at 10 pm.

So Terry used to be hyper and cranky all evening, eat at 9 pm, then need to be calmed down & walked around with before he’d sleep. But since we started doing co-bathing or co-showers whenever Patrick gets home, he has been calm all evening! He loves that so much. Now I eat dinner either between his 6 & 7 pm feeding, or afterwards at 7:30. He either falls asleep & gets carried up to bed with us, or quietly lays down with us around 9 or 9:30 pm and goes to sleep without a fight. He doesn’t do his 9 pm feeding anymore.

He wakes up to eat at 11:00 pm & 3 am every night. Usually without crying. I just feel him stretching and rooting around, and we fall back asleep together as he nurses. Most of the time Patrick doesn’t even wake up. But if he does, he’ll cuddle with us & change Terry’s diaper after he finishes nursing. Then Terry will just curl up next to us and go back to sleep. During the week when Patrick wakes up at 5 am for work, Terry will wake up then too, and again we’ll fall back asleep together as he nurses. But on weekends, he sleeps through that feeding. 

I try my best to stick to this schedule. One time we went to the Navy Exchange and Commissary. He slept in the sling the entire time, and when we got back out to the car it was 1:30. I knew he’d want to eat at 2, and I told Patrick we should wake him up to feed him before we drove home. But he really was sound asleep, so we didn’t. We put him in his car seat, thinking we’d be home by 2. There was a traffic jam. Terry woke up at 2 screaming. We pulled the car over onto a shoulder of the freeway for me to feed him. My lesson was learned. He has an appointment with my midwife tomorrow at 2:15, and her office is a 10-15 minute walk from our home. I will be feeding him at 1:30 & wearing him in the sling on the way there so he’s in a good mood for his appointment! 

Why My 7-Year-Old is an Atheist (And Why I'm Okay With That)

I’m a deeply spiritual person & still enjoyed reading this. I would be okay with it, too.

Jan 9

"Terrible Two's"

stasiapepper:

Up until I had children, this term never bothered me. Even when my daughter was born, the term didn’t bother me. Now, the term bothers me a lot. Whenever my daughter throws the slightest tantrum, someone is always chiming in, “Ope looks like those terrible twos are here.” Really? How do you…

Jan 1

(Source: viewsfromamommy)

I am not a human pacifier

365daysofalexander:

I am in love with this post.

Whilst Alexander is (thankfully) past the stage of needing to nurse almost constantly (although he still probably nurses every two hours or so) this post really spoke to me. I remember him as a newborn, everyone wanting a cuddle from this tiny new human. I’d nurse,…

6 Ways to Talk to Your Son About Male Violence and Healthy Masculinity

fuckyeahfeminists:

fuckmonosexismforever:

6 Ways to Talk to Your Son About Male Violence and Healthy Masculinity

Boys as young as 4 year old are told to “be a man!”, usually in response to them crying or showing fear.

And as they grow up, they’re bombarded with messages that say to be a “manly” man, they need to:

  • Be big and strong
  • Be physically aggressive and ready to fight
  • Show no emotions – especially fear or pain but anger is just fine
  • Feel entitled to objectify women and sexually pursue women regardless of whether or not she’s interested

It doesn’t take a leap of faith to see how this history has led to our society and media promoting images of masculinity as inherently obsessed with fighting and sex.

And then having some men turn that image into a reality where they feel entitled to be assault and dominate others, particularly women.

So many men are caring, responsible, and non-violent people. But while many men don’t use violence to express their feelings or control others, many don’t feel comfortable showing the other sides of them for fear of being called “gay”, “girly”, “soft,” or “emotional”.

That’s why we need to change the conversation around masculinity. We need the definition of masculinity to reflect the diversity present in men beyond the narrow box they have now.

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(Source: queeringmisogyny)